Jealous

I have to confess that I could be jealous easily. In anything, to every one. Ever since I was little, I can be sulky about petty things that I don't get the attention of.

This is my story:

When I was like 9 years of age, and already aware that I am the eldest of 3 children, I was always expected to give way to my little siblings. I was too young then to understand, but still I do because if not I would be scolded and spend a horrible day.

One night, mom and dad arrived from an occasion, me and little sibs ran towards the door to meet them. I discovered mom handing a small red pillow, might came from the occasion they went to. I wanted THAT PILLOW. I swiftly grabbed it from my mom's hands.

My 3-year-old sister saw it. She wanted the pillow as well. Well, I saw it first. (See how selfish I was). She asked my mom is she can have it. My mom said yes. And I went on balistic. I don't want it to give it away because I saw it first.

My dad and mom hashed out with me to give the pillow to my little bratty sister. I gave it to her but with resentment.

I turned away and went to bed. I cried all night. And some other nights. Experiencing melancholy over such a material thing isn't that pleasant to think about. But hey I did.

Days after, of course with little things in my mind as a child. I was still thinking about how to get even. I sometimes watch over my sister sleeping with the pillow by her side. "My PILLOW" by her side. Due to my frustrations, while little sister is charmingly sleeping at night, I sneak in to the bedroom like a sly and steal little pillow on my little sister's arms. And that's the time I recapitulate my sleep. It happened for quite a while. But it made a streak on my heart.

And until today, I get easily jealous. I cry when I am. Can't still overleap that event.

I do also have some paltry treatment to my friends, that sometimes when we don't do things that we usually do things together,or he/she would have another friend that she/he shares her/his stories with, when my friend go out without me and with other friend, I get sulky about it and wary about it.

How much more...

If I do have a boyfriend, I would definitely die of jealousy for every little thing! And I don't want it.