LOVE IS SELFISH

***January 7th, 2008 by keestinee on FRIENDSTER

For a long time now, I’ve been asking myself.

Where does love go after someone breaks up with you?

Why suddenly we tried to feel tired of loving that person?

Why cannot offer even friendship?

And I found the answer…

Many may think I’m stupid not to know, but the answer is simple. Because one expects something in return when they give love away and when we don’t get what we expect,

We feel tired or even GIVE UP…

Many have said that love is not selfish…

But really, it is… And it will ALWAYS BE…

STUPID LOVE

**** January 14th, 2008 by keestinee on FRIENDSTER

It was in a blink he told me that he liked me.

I thought it was for real…That it would last just like what I dreamed of …

I started to like him too bacause I thought he’s not like the others I’ve known before…

But then…

It was also in a blink that he gave up so easily…

I fell for him and I know it’s not right,

That’s why I tried to get over him,

Tried not to care, Try not to love him.

But no matter what I do, Everytime he’s near…

I just say " hindi ko kasi sya matiis eh". HMF!

If I could hug him tight, I would.

If I could hold him close, I would.

It’s not that I don’t have the WILL,

I just don’t have the RIGHT!

After all the thinking…

I know he’s not the one for me…

I know he belong to someone else…

I know we’re not really meant to be…

But everytime I’m with someone else,

I still wish that… He was HIM!

I feel sorry if he can’t love me the way he loved the one before me…

So, I will let him go to find her and hope someday he’ll realize that the one he’s looking for is exactly…

‘The one who set him free’…

GOODBYE!!!

10 WAyS to KnOw If It’s LoVe

****January 17th, 2008 by keestinee on FRIENDSTER

10.Does not say "Me First!"

9. Believes the best about others.

8. Does not "keep score" of the bad things that others do.

7. Does not tear down others.

6. Is not conceited.

5. Is patient with others, even when they are annoying.

4. Is not happy when someone gets hurt.

3. Helps out others, even if it’s inconvenient.

2. Celebrates the success of others.

1. NEVER QUITS!

Just so you know….

Romance Martyr Syndrome

****January 26th, 2008 by keestinee on FRIENDSTER

I do believe that God above,

Created you for me to love.

He picked you up among the rest,

because He knows I love you best.

I have a heart and it is true,

But now it’s gone from me to you.

So, care of it as I have do,

For I have none and you got two.

If I got to heaven and you’re not there,

I’ll wait for you in the Golden stairs.

And if you’re not there on the judgment day,

I know you’ve gone the other way.

So, I’ll give up my Angel’s wings,

My golden harp and everything.

And to prove to you my love,

I’ll go to hell with you instead of above….

NOLI ME TANGERE

****February 20th, 2008 by keestinee on FRIENDSTER

I have this close guy classmate who I spend a lot of time with during school days. He was the type of a flirt guy that I hate. But whenever he’s around, I couldn’t be happier than ever.

It could have been much enjoyable, however, one fine day, I just discovered from my girlfriend that she has observed that something unusual to him.

Well, I know that he’s been tagging along with us; during lunchbreaks, when we got need to drop by the mall to buy somethin, he’s always been there. But to my surprise, the group told me that he’s going to court me. Hell!

I didn’t notice that fast enough… Recovering from my shock, I was realizing then, that must be the reason why he always sits beside me, making me laugh, texting me all night,teasing me and the most thing that I hate: TOUCHES ME. I hate "touchy-feel" guys. Seems like their always taking advantage on me…

I just don’t know why, I hate to ba touched, EXCEPT those kind of touch that COMFORTS me. After the thinking, I found myself pushing him away… farther… and farther…

This must be the reason that up to now, I still don’t have a guy friend,’coz it always end up like that……..

Keep Breathing…

***

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 20th, 2008 at 1:34 am on FRIENDSTER

It’s been a sunny morning, I found myself looking around the place for some familiar faces — Perhaps, for some ’special face’. A pretty face I always wanted to look at…

I haven’t seen her for quite some time. I think I miss her so bad. This might be so hard for someone who’s been looking for someone who could give back what that someone has given away.

I have this plain old and new friends; some pretty girls in class and a new set of guys. But it seems like there’s somethings missing. — Someone who appreciates me enough, giving me letters every once in a while, encourages me whenever I was down,could ride on and buy my jokes, and that someone who cooks me my favorite dish– ADOBO. < it’s a terrific taste!> She has this kind of taste that signifies its uniqueness of the dish. Not just like the other adobo that you usually buy in a carinderia or in other households.

She must’ve found some guys; her new friends. I just saw her the other day. She was with a guy — sweet enough to have mistaken them as "sweethearts". I couldn’t care less. That guy must be so lucky.

Everytime I see her passing by me, it feels like something’s melting me and grinding me into pieces. It makes me want to shrink by her majestic presence.

No words could make me express how much I miss that girl. Oh how I miss those moments when she strokes my shoulder and tells me, " That’s okay dear, it’s just a material thing. Don’t get too disappointed with it. I still love you no matter what". I am so weaken by her sweet voice and those words that comes out from her little lips.

It was a regret for me to let her down when she asked me to fix me our relationship all over again after our parents separated us. But I don’t need no friendship. I don’t want to be ‘just’ her friend!

But she’s somebody else’s girl now. I don’t want to bother her. She must be so happy with that someone. But I know, God always have a plan. He will never let that ‘guy’ come between us. I know she loves me. I can see it in her brown meaningful eyes.

I’m leaving next week to Florida. This could be the hardest goodbye. But I know in my heart, faithful and waiting. I will see her soon and i’m going to hold on until that day comes…

"LOVE SEEKS NO TIME AND SEES NO END"

IF I HAVE A SPECIAL POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

***

This entry was posted on Sunday, March 9th, 2008 at 10:28 pm on FRIENDSTER

If I would be given a special power , it would be the POWER TO TURN BACK TIME..So, I could rewind and change my Stupid Mistakes. It’s kinda ‘kid’ thing but it would be an amusing thing for me…

For the past 8 years, I started the highlight of my life. Since I was the eldest among my siblings, I usually stick to the rules. However, when I reached in my Higher Education Level, I began my rebellious acts. It’s been weird. But I used to "hate men", until I met my first boyfriend. Realizing, having him isn’t bad at all. Or so I thought.

I regret those tragic days od my life. He ditched me…

I WANT TO TURN THAT TIME BACK!!!

Until I met this guy, the second one. He told my classmate that he likes me and he’s going to court me. But he was courting someone else and eventually committed to someone.

THE GREATEST MAN AND THE SUPERWOMAN OF MY WORLD

The special day has come when I was born. Might those angels were all adoring my arrival in this earth when my delicate mother chose to give birth. So as my father who has been waiting for my grand entrance prior to my mother to the world of wonder.

Since then, my life began…

Like a movie, my life also has ups and downs. As a kid, I grew up in a home of full of love and simplicity of life. I was never brought up to be a bratinella. I tried hard to get what I want.

And my love life?? Hmm… Just like telenovelas… I also experienced heartbreaks and learned lessons from it even Traumas. That’s why I never entered into a commitment again since then.

More or less, I would want to be a simple person. I never wished to have a fairy tale-like relationship nor a huge mansion house for myself.

MY FATHER: "The Unpredictable Man"

My dad has always been my disciplinarian. Just like the other man of the house. He usually feed us knowledge and lessons. He’s an Authoritative type of guy that we (with my siblings) afraid of.

Ever since I was a kid, I had this little feeling and a little thought in my mind that always bothers me.

"Why isn’t my father so sweet like the other dadd-ies? Why is he always scolds me whenever I had a simple mistakes?….

That were the questions…

Maybe that was also the reason why I always want to contradict his statements (FYI, I’m the #1 Contradictor of my DAd). We’re always have a debate in the dining table that also usually ends up in arguments, and me in a terrible state…

MY MOTHER: The Caring Fairy

I just wanted to just as God wants me to be…

Retrospect

August 21st, 2008 by keestinee

fI was singing a familiar song in my head with the radio. Then suddenly, it started to rain outside the car on a night of July.

While I was so amazed by the peaceful scenario outside the moving wheels, I didn’t notice that the driver was observing me all along. Stunned like a child, I looked back at him seeing a grimace on his face.

"What?!", I asked sarcastically. He turned back his head to the driveway to see a clearer view of the road and immediately back to me again.

"Nothing", he answered with a teaseful smile.

I shrugged and leaned my back to where I was seated, put my hand under my chin and faced my fate — a confrontation, again.

"You know what, I missed the way you tease me back then".

He was puzzled. I saw his fine, thick eyebrows met.

"Hmm… I mean, the way we used to get along with each other in school", I added.

"Who are you?!" You seem like a melodramatic person right now and i don’t get it! You never acted like that before..", he giggle.

Poor me. "Oh shut up!", I said. "It’s just that our memories together is still fresh on my mind and I can’t imagine how we got this far".

"Ah, so you’re reminiscing, er.. So what part of our memories together would you like to remember? huh? ",he said.

I snapped my fingers. "Those times when you annoys me whenever I see you talking to your girlfriends, flirting, and you give me such pain in the ass!".

"Oh, so you really were jealous then?!", he insists.

I crossed my arm and raised my eyebrows (he knows what it means).

"You know that I really ‘hate’ flirt guys , I just don’t like ‘em!".

"Hahaha… You can’t still change your attitude , can you? It’s just my way of being friendly. You can’t blame them if they really like me."

(Oh God, here he comes again. He’s starting to be haifalutic!)

"Yuck! what did you just say?! a what?! Can you still understand what you’re saying?!", I wit.

Fact or THIRD WHEEL PARANOIA?

***almost done transferring my journals to this account. oh how I miss writing.***

It was on the mids of January when I felt the coldness in him. He is not picking me up in the office every morning anymore. We usually have breakfast after he picks me up. And that's everyday.

From then on, I know something is different; I became suspicious to what he is doing. i had a hunch that he maybe seeing someone else. He will text me up in the morning to inform me that he will be doing something important and he will be busy for the whole day (which he never does; even if he is so busy, he will make a way and make time just to pick me up after my work).

I had the feeling of being neglected. I know he just had a new secretary in his office that he never introduced to me yet. He often mentions her to me. And whenever he tries to, he gives her praises and the likes. He even mentioned that he'd be needing to rent her an apartment for her because she resides far from the office. And my initial reaction? - "I think you should marry her as well to complete the package!" (I get easily get jealous; and I don't want the feeling!)

I was thinking; he already bought her a phone, sends her to the terminal every after work, and now he wants to rent an apartment for her?! Oh how I love to have a boss like that.tsk tsk.

I was able to confirm my suspicions when one morning, it was my break and my officemates asked me to accompany them to smoke outside the office. We were like talking as we're standing outside, when I noticed a familiar car and plate number on the gas station on the other side of the road. I thought my eyes are just deceiving me. But wait. It was him.

I saw him loading some gas with a girl on the passenger seat! And it's 7 in the morning! His office opens @ 8Am! I stood still pretending I didn't notice something while my colleagues are talking to me.

I know he saw me then. He tried to hide his car beside a tinted van stopping on a red light. Thought he could get away with it.

But I surely did see him. I ran inside the office and the rest was history.

**Didn't expect that he is incapable of doing that. Well, he have 3 sisters and he know what's the significance of a man as not just a mere fact of being a man but manly enough to be responsible of his actions.

Christmas Eve 2010

It was Christmas Eve and I have to work. Seems like the job that I'm in right now don't have holidays, which is a good one because we are paid doubled. I was picked up earlier than my shift. He gave me a signal that he is already outside the house. I went over right away.

Dragging my niece (who just visited us for Christmas) to the car. I leaned on the window, and asked him if we can just drop my niece in the terminal since it will be on the way to work. He agreed. We excitedly hopped in the car. Then, he suddenly handed me a rectangular shape object covered with a table napkin. I was amused by just looking at him handing me the stuff while he's driving the car. I took the stuff in his hand and tried to look at it. It was a sandwich. Awww.

That was sweet. He requested me to have a bite on it first to check if it was okay. Claiming that he prepared that for me. (sweet!) He wanted me to finish it @ work. But I was too full that time that I cannot even eat anymore in the pantry. I kept the sandwich instead. We stayed in the parking lot for several minutes and seized the moment together. (This is the first time that I was not ablr to spend Christmas Eve with my family, however, this is also the first time that I was to spend it with someone romantic) ^_^

And sadly, I was also able to bring it back home the next morning. I didn't dare to tell him. because I know that he will be disappointed. I placed it inside the fridge and I asked my mom to eat it instead because I always forget to eat it.

One of the best christmas eve ever!

Such a Bad Dream

I had a dream. I was sitting on a bench alone. I was crying. Someone came up to me and ask why. I turned to him and answered none. He insisted so I told him, I miss him so much and hugged him tightly. To my surprise, he did not responded. He was stunned; didnt move for a few seconds. And then just stroke my shoulder gently. didnt answer for long. I unhold him, and let go. And then, he went away...

It's New Year's Eve, Baby...

New years Eve: I was picked up early again. When I got out of my bedroom, my mom approached me and asked if we can drop my niece on the terminal. I went over to his car, asked if I'll be okay with him. He agreed.

But when I saw my niece opened the back door on the other side of the car, I saw on her face that she's quite stunned to what she saw. I didn't mind it first. But when I got inside the car, I looked @ the back to check on her,there, I saw a little treat that was set up on the other side of her. It was the food that he arranged @ the back of his car for our little "spend time". I smiled. I made sure he didn't notice me flattered.

Not too long when we were inside the car already, my niece spoke up and said that we can just drop her nearby where there would be jeepneys going to Cubao. I didn't respond right away. Maybe she had felt the need to let the two of us to alone. So we dropped her by the nearest terminal and left her there.

We stayed again in the parking lot of my office. Started to eat the foods.There was baked macaroni,sandwich, chocolate and a drink. I was so surprised that I didn't even reacted. I thought that was sweet. Really sweet. I just didn't know if I was able to let him know that I do appreciate it.

*That was sweet my dear! ^_^

TOTAL TRUTH

The truth is, I was really okay with it. Picks me up every morning and have some breakfast, pick me up again to bring me to my office @ night and have dinner before, stay @ the parking lot to spend some little spare time before I log in, text messages the whole day(not to mention the cheesy lienes that he keeps on sending me), calls to check up on me if I was okay, sends cakes, brings flowers, visits on my house, go dine on rest days, go to church together, continues \\\\\\\'likes\\\\\\\' on facebook every now and then. I enjoyed it very much being on this stage of my life for the reason that I was so deprived for a long time for experiencing this kind of pleasure. During my high school days, I keep on reminding myself that I won\\\'t let any romantic stuff hit my skin. Being out of academy feels so liberating. There\'s just one thing that I\'m struggling about. Its my ego, or is it? because I got used to preventing myself from this things in the past, I usually perform some of my strategy to get guys away from me; I turn them off! This was kinda secret. I always believe that if someone is manly enough to handle you,and is sincerely love you, he will NEVER be turned off...

Effortful ^_^

Wavemates and I are supposed to go hang out on that Monday night in QC Ave for the Christmas Special of NCO. However, due time came, and they all backed up! So, me and our boss stayed together. We just chatted the whole night and resto hopped. While my dearest keep on calling me once in a while to check if where was I and whom I\'m with.

MisMatch @ Marikina Valley Medical Center

I finally took the time to have a check up when my mom accompanied my grandma to the hospital to have her Xray done. It was my rest day at work so I was encourage to come and to have a consultation as well. I really don't like going to the doctors to have a consultation.When I'm sick, I just drink a lot of water and eat well. I don't like taking meds. Mayne for the confidence that I have being on the medical field. I believe the last time that I was able to was when I need to have my medical check up for employment purpose.

So, going back. When I was registering in the reception table with a secretary, filling up forms, one woman came over to register also. She was petite, looks younger than me(but she's on the same age as mine), not to mention my stats compared to her. Yeah, she looks quite a 'teenager' than me.

Well, this receptionist in the table, asked us both of our concerns. I said I need to have an Internal Medicine Specialist to attend to me. The girl said her concern as well. The receptionist asked the girl to sit and wait for her doctor. And I was asked to check my weight in the scale. Why me? I said to myself. Why am I the one who needs to do this? But still, I went over to the scale to have my weight checked and was asked to wait for a moment while the receptionist is trying to call the doctor. She has a lot of things to do. Calling the doctors, sign papers, answer calls, send papers, text the doctors, talk to the patients, look for the records, update the doctors, etc. No wonder she is really mad about working.

And when she finally approached me after calling my doctor, she said, "Ma'am, can you wait an hour for your doctor to attend to you?". "Fine", I answered. Thinking grandma and mom were maybe not done with the Xray yet. I still have the lux of time. The receptionist caught my attention again to confirm, "Ma'am, kayo po yung magpapaPRE-NATAL CHECK UP noh?". I was shocked. My eardrums cracked! (Are you kidding me??!!)I took a few seconds to comprehend what the receptionist has said. Looked at her and answered back, "Hinde".

"Oh! Sorry. I might have exchanged your forms!", the receptionist called the other girl to tell her that she has to wait for the doctor and have her weigh in the scale. I was standing right in front of them clueless. The receptionist took the chance to apologize for the mixed up. We're both laughing. Lead me to the doctor's office and promise that my name will be called in no time.And I was like laughing inside of me. Do I really look like that I will be having my Pre-natal check up then? Ugh!

That's one big really funny story. I hope it won't happen again. Watta laugh. ^_^ check!

End of the Line

All alone I wait for you.As darkness fills this room.I don't know why you ain't called.Little things you used to do.There no longer part of you.Seems you left them all behind.Well I can't believe what I'm going through.This thing it, just ain't right.Your selfish ways, how you carry on.Somethings you just can't hide.

Seems like I can't do you right.All I do or say is wrong.All the smallest thing criticized.I deserve some damn respect.

Nothing more and nothing less.Don't pretend everythings fine.Don't hold it back if it's in your heart.Stand up and be a man.

Can't read your mind.So I just say aloud.I'm trying to understand.

If you want me to go, Then Say It .If you want me to stay,Then show it.

Don't be afraid to break this heart of mine (cause you already did).Now's the time, If I'm right then we've come to the end of the line.

Even though you've been doing me wrong I still care.Do you think that by treating me cruel that somehow I'll disappear? I love you too much just to walk away.Don't make me hate you.You've got to be straight.

40 Days of Love (Practice Love)

Philippians 1:19

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight

John 13:34-35

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By these all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.

---- LOVE is NEVER a FEELING = it is a CHOICE; a COMMITMENT

• LOVE IS ACTION!

1 John 3:18

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.

MYTH- Barrier to True Love

1. Feeling
2. Hypocrisy
3. Wait
4. Selfishness
5. Self-reliance

1 John 4:19

We love because He 1st loved us.

*** Ptr. Jun Sagcal

Dear God

Thank you for being such a Great Creator

Thank you for being my Father:
-who disciplines me throughout my growing years, for guiding me and keeping me on the right track, scolds me when I need some rebukes, spanks me whenever I get rebellious.

Thank you for being my Mother:
-who comforts me when I get disappointed, hugs me when I feel cold, you listens to my stories and more than willing to be part of my stories, who takes care of everything before me and I know you know a lot of things that I need that's why you're preparing it before I ask for it.

Thank you for being my Brother:
-who listens to my jokes even it's so corny and you will crack some jokes in return, someone who will go in my room to sing me a song, who keeps teasing me of something, who keeps asking me for a pasalubong.

Thank you for being my Sister:
-who shares a lot of things with me, telling how maldita I am, who listens to my "how's my day was" when I get home everyday, who shares with me clothes and stuffs.

Thank you for being my Friend:
-whom I can talk to whenever I needed someone to talk to, who cracks jokes to make me smile, who reminds me of my assignments and "work to do", who accompanies me when I go somewhere else, who comforts me and reminds me that the world is unfair but I have to live with it.

Thank you for being my Lover:
- who shows concern and sweetness to me, who shares with me my dreams, who picks me up when I'm down, who accompanies me when I go to school/work and when I go home, who gives me sunshine kisses every morning, who tells me how beautiful I am and is willing to remind it again day after day.

Thank you for being my Teacher:
-who teaches me that life is a gift and I have to handle the challenges, who observes my performance everyday and tells me I improves a lot, who listens to my plea, who guides me in working on my assignments and tells me I'm good in something.


Lord, You are more than enough. You are my all. You alone is my everything. I know that You are living in these people and feel so blessed having them because of You. So I'm Perfect enough to say that my Imperfections made me Perfect because You are Perfect...



Worship Song: My Redeemer Lives -Nicole C. Mullen

Dear God

Thank you for being such a Great Creator

Thank you for being my Father:
-who disciplines me throughout my growing years, for guiding me and keeping me on the right track, scolds me when I need some rebukes, spanks me whenever I get rebellious.

Thank you for being my Mother:
-who comforts me when I get disappointed, hugs me when I feel cold, you listens to my stories and more than willing to be part of my stories, who takes care of everything before me and I know you know a lot of things that I need that's why you're preparing it before I ask for it.

Thank you for being my Brother:
-who listens to my jokes even it's so corny and you will crack some jokes in return, someone who will go in my room to sing me a song, who keeps teasing me of something, who keeps asking me for a pasalubong.

Thank you for being my Sister:
-who shares a lot of things with me, telling how maldita I am, who listens to my "how's my day was" when I get home everyday, who shares with me clothes and stuffs.

Thank you for being my Friend:
-whom I can talk to whenever I needed someone to talk to, who cracks jokes to make me smile, who reminds me of my assignments and "work to do", who accompanies me when I go somewhere else, who comforts me and reminds me that the world is unfair but I have to live with it.

Thank you for being my Lover:
- who shows concern and sweetness to me, who shares with me my dreams, who picks me up when I'm down, who accompanies me when I go to school/work and when I go home, who gives me sunshine kisses every morning, who tells me how beautiful I am and is willing to remind it again day after day.

Thank you for being my Teacher:
-who teaches me that life is a gift and I have to handle the challenges, who observes my performance everyday and tells me I improves a lot, who listens to my plea, who guides me in working on my assignments and tells me I'm good in something.


Lord, You are more than enough. You are my all. You alone is my everything. I know that You are living in these people and feel so blessed having them because of You. So I'm Perfect enough to say that my Imperfections made me Perfect because You are Perfect...



Worship Song: My Redeemer Lives -Nicole C. Mullen

TOUCH ME NOT! (A Pre-Valentine Nightmare)

It was our University Foundation Day on the month of February. My friends and I decided to attend the affair just to have some funand bond. That was in Rizal Stadium, Taft in Manila. We took some pictures, made fun of somebody's get up.and supported our very own classmate who joined track and field.

We we're all planning to go to MOA after the event. All along, I noticed my friend keep on textiing someone.. That gave me a hunch. In the cab , on our way to MOA, she gave me a hint that someone will be there too. Oh my.. that made me really nervous. Up until now, I can still remember the coldness in my extremities.

He texted me the moment that we arrived in the place and asked me to meet him up somewhere.

When me and the entourage arrived in the rendezvous, we saw him sitting on a bench. We approached him and he handed me a huge bouquet of flowers and chocolates. That was pretty embarrassing.

We had coffee and had some little chat. However, when we're on our way home, little by little we parted ways and guess what,? The two of us we're left behind! So we stayed together since we have the same way home (No choice for me..) I really wanted to leave him that time because I don't feel comfortable being with him.

We dropped by @ Trinoma. And there, he started to asked me to go with him to the Spa. I disagreed of course.

I don't know if it's because of the coffee or is it my heart beating too fast. I was hyperventilating. I thought I was going to faint. He keeps on asking me questions that I'm not comfortable of. (Smolder!)

Good thing, my friends called me up to include me in the hang-out. So immediately show my appreciation to hm and said bye. But he insisted that he will just drop me to the place where my friends are. I said its fine.

We hopped in the cab. I was wishing that it would fly fast so that I won't be sitting next to him anymore. I was keeping myself looking @ the window to keep my composure. He started to talk to me softly, TOOK MY HAND and HELD IT WITH HIS. I was scared to death! I could not say a single word.

I took a deep breath and cracked a joke.I can't even remember what it was. I think I also mentioned about him finding someone else or he can find a lot of girls when he will be in Canada already. (PLease not me!)

I was so pissed off. So when I was about to get outside the cab, I just said, "Thank you, bye!". He leaned forward and handed me my flowers that I almost forgot. I ran immediately to the venue and kept looking for my friends, while ignoring the crowd who we're looking @ my huge bouquet. I was about to throw it due to the embarrassment. While I'm still conscious about the cab, which I was noticing through my peripheral vision, was moving farther.

To my relief, I saw my friends and sat by them. My hands were still shaking.

That guy was so dumped! After that horrible night, I did not bother to answer his text messages and calls. BUSTED!!!

THE SWEETEST THING...

Everyone would see me as pessimistic about Love Relationships and Marriage. But let me show you how I really do appreciate TRUE LOVE...

I feel the 'kilig' :

* When my mom would wait for my dad to get home to eat dinner together.

* When my dad would accompany my mom to the grocery (taking aside watching TV or doing something else)

* When mom makes coffee for dad every morning. (until now, I can't even learn the perfect mixture of mom's coffee)

* When my dad won't feel @ ease when mom is not home yet. He keeps on texting and calling her almost every hour to check her up.

* When dad willingly drop and pick up mom wherever she goes. (and never leaves until he sees mom on settling down state or he stays outside the place until mom is not inside the premises)

* When they both snuggle in the sofa while watching TV. (oh how I love seeing them laughing to what they're watching)

@@@ AAAwwww.... @@@

Daddy,My Lord,

Thank you so much for giving me the chance to appreciate these priceless things. Though sometimes I keep on asking for more, you keep on reminding me that what I have right now is all that I need. Thank you for giving us our parents to help us and siblings feel secure and keeps us motivated even times of difficulties. You know we love you. You are still my first one true love!!!

READ @ YOUR OWN RISK

I remember I told someone previously: "Tell me if pagod ka na, para alam ko na". - Please don't make LAME EXCUSES just to get rid of me. You can tell it to me straight. I'll accept it. I know that's the consequence of me trying to turn you off. Now, where's the "AGAPE" (unconditional love) and "I AM WILLING TO WAIT.."??

Where did it go? Or is this all BLUFF from the very beginning? cause if so, You should've stopped when I beg you to "Please stop now, if you're not sincere and won't hold on that far", from the start. I plead. Now, just tell me if there's something or SOMEONE ELSE, that makes you do this. I can definitely understand your work, but if there would be a person behind it, I cannot do something about that anymore. If you did not do anything wrong, then why are you trying to hide from your shell? And I can't seem to understand why you keep on postponing the scheduled time to for the both of us to talk and never bring it up whenever we're together. I just wanted to talk to you. You know that I felt the same thing, it's not that I cannot reciprocate, I just can't express it and I'm dreadful to commit myself to someone.Even though I really feel the need to be sweet to you, there's something that's holding me back. Scared that I might get hurt. But its the same thing, cause I got hurt still...You give up so easily. I know you have struggles, I do have it too. Just the thought of almost giving myself to you and then I was left in the air hanging, feeling the emotion that I did not even initiated was devastating. I felt that you just took advantage of me. You're breaking my heart...